Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Do It For Johnny!

Based on a conversation with Dragon Queen:

Every couple in the world falls into one of two categories: Both partners are equally good looking or the woman is more attractive.

Now, this is based on objectivity. In individual couples, you will find that the woman thinks her man is crazy gorgeous, even though to the world he looks like Zach Galifianakis (I would totally date Zach Galifianakis, for the record.)

Every rule has an exception, and of course we all know who is the exception here. I'm speaking, of course, of Johnny Depp, Lord God Supreme of Unfathomable Pretty Pretty Hotness (I apologize for the title, but for issues of length and readability, I had to shorten it. Also, readability is an actual word, as evidenced by the lack of squiggly red line underneath it. Who knew? Not me. Totally me. Because I'm a writer. And we know things like that.)

Johnny Depp is in a long term relationship with French singer Vanessa Paradis. If you click on the link, you can see the most unspeakably lucky woman in all creation the mother of his children is actually quite beautiful. But she's not Johnny Depp beautiful. Because she's not Johnny Depp.

And that brings me to the subject of this post: Human cloning.

Johnny deserves a partner as beautiful as he is (don't worry about Vanessa. She'll understand) So we need to rally our scientists, our biologists, our geneticists on this most important issue. Johnny needs to stare deeply into his own eyes and tell himself how beautiful he is, while softly stroking his cheek and thinking about how much he loves him.

Also, there will be another Johnny Depp in the world.

So do it for Johnny, scientists.

And do it for us.

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